Live it through


I planned to come to Abadiânia for one day and go back to Brasilia in the evening. Like so, I would make sure I would meet João de Deus and leave before the Santo Daime (ayahuasca) ceremonies. I was scared to drink the plant again, so I deliberately planned my trip to miss the ceremonies, even though my shaman firmly encouraged me to attend many times. But something stronger than me brought me to Abadiânia and since two days, everything I had planned (go to Porto Alegre, spend the weekend in Alto Paraiso…) just seemed to fall into pieces… fall into pieces softly, perfectly… so the only path left would be the only true one: staying in Abadiânia. Live it through.

I met João de Deus yesterday. Pamela and I arrived at Casa de Don Inácio at 8:35, 5 minutes after the ticket cashier had closed for morning visitors. The guys driving the car advised us there was a schedule to get there and meet João. We didn’t know. We didn’t know either that we had to dress entirely in white. So I thought: if life wants, we will meet him.

Everything was fine. They gave us the ticket even if we were few minutes late and said it was fine even if we were wearing colours for our first visit. We only had to wait in the room with those hundreds people, till they would call the first-time visitors to stand in line to meet the medium. In the room, some were sitting and many were standing. All observed the rules: legs and arms must not be crossed to allow the energy flow through our body. I was standing, my purse across my torso. A woman indicated to me to place it on one shoulder, so that it would not cross my body in a diagonal. I did so.

Many people had told me about a strong energy that could be felt here. I didn’t know what they meant. But I felt it very obviously in the first half-hour standing in this room full of people and entities. My arms were very heavy, pushing down towards the ground. My feet were very grounded, pushing into the ground. I could feel very clearly how torn was my posture, all the micro torsions that made my body unaligned. Those torsions that, once, an osteopath had noticed in me, but I could hardly feel at that time. I pushed into my feet to realign myself. At some point, I looked at my hands, as I was feeling lots of energy in my arms and hands. The skin of my palms was very different then usual. It was full of white and red spots, probably the blood that was flowing differently. Right after that, Pamela, who was standing in front of me, her back facing me, looked into her palms too. She saw the same thing. I also felt, two-three times, that I was producing vaginal secretions. I could confirm that when I went to the toilet; I was wet. Couldn’t explain why.

When we were in the line, they recommended that we meditate about the reasons that brought us here, the answers and cures we were looking for. I think I was just looking for my purpose in this life.

He was sitting in his sofa, receiving us – the new visitors -, one at a time. To some of us he talked, to some he only gave a paper with the remedy prescription : maracujá pills to swallow twice a day, for three months, avoiding any alcohol or pepper. As I was waiting in line, few people and few seconds before the encounter, I thought: I must look into his eyes. I want to remember his eyes. I looked into his eyes. But couldn’t remember any presence. It wasn’t a person. It wasn’t João de Deus, the man. It was the entities through his corporal presence. Before giving me the paper with the prescription, he said something to me. Maybe because I wanted so much him to say something. I wanted to hear impacting words from the entities. I wanted to know why I had come here. What brought me here. He said those 8 Portuguese words very quickly, very low and in a very banal manner. After I mentally made sure it was those words that were said and no others, I thought: “he must say that to everybody”. I’d ask my friend Pamela what he told her later.

I shared with others. Those words were for me.

So I bought my pills (50 reais), a white shirt for my next passage at the Center and stopped looking for transportation back to Brasilia. I had already decided to attend the two Santo Daime rituals. I’d stay here till Monday. Live Abadiânia. Live it through. Before I can go back home.


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